It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
