There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
