He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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