Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
