I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
