now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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