I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
