I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
