brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
