he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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