There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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