Don't you send me to vm
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
