Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
