remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
accomplished twins. life is a go
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
