also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
