Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
