You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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