she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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