she looked like the before picture.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
