girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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