People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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