belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
