Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
