are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
