Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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