you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
