Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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