I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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