I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
