He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
