IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
