Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
