I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
