wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
