I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
