I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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