I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
