That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
