I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
