Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
