I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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