I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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