Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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