therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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