I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
