The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
