A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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