hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
