i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
