Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
where am i from again
ugly people sure do ruin things
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
