lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
