Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
plz talk dirty to me
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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